SELF CARE? Sometimes be selfish!

One major buzzword of recent times is “self care”. We hear it mentioned all the time and i’m the first to admit that there is no recipe of what this looks like all of the time. I took a break from social media, as part of my own self care. It was only meant to be for a week, I just needed to take some time away from the excess of negative news displayed everywhere. One week turned into two weeks and then that quickly became three.

I am constantly telling myself not to put off to tomorrow that which can be done today. Its a constant mantra of mine as I will easily talk myself out of doing things.  Tomorrow easily becomes tomorrow, until it runs away from me. Its something that I am always aware of and actively working on. 

I have a love/hate relationship with social media, more aptly described as a like/hate relationship and I intend to touch on this in a later post. For me it is a necessary evil of modern times. In the past then years I’ve gone from just having one social site, facebook, to having accounts on far too many platforms. Its easy to get caught up in watching other peoples lives and then not appreciating the one that you have been gifted with, 

Self care.

 For me, a major part of self care is my 6am morning spin classes. This is something that I have been deprived of since March thanks to Covid. I swapped its for 5am insanity workouts but found that this didn’t satisfy in the same way. I then accidentally stepped on a 2 inch nail on the beach and this put a major pause on any and all exercise. I didn’t expect this to have such a major affect on my mood but it did. So I took some time away to concentrate on me. 

Sometimes be selfish! Its ok to take some time for yourself. I felt guilty taking some down time and dodging the many questions that asked me where have I been when I finally took a soft return to social media. Three weeks and i’m still not fully back on all of my socials, but we are getting there. For me sometimes self care is maintaining the fine balance between the two and time away was a stark reminder of that. We conduct a service and MOT on our cars (over three years old) annually but are often remiss in taking time to do the same for ourselves. I often say we get one body, when I am asked why I hit the Gym at 6am daily without fail. We only get one mind too, and there is not manual on the best way to look after it. The Covid-19 pandemic has made for an unusual environment that we have to live in indefinitely. As someone with a type-a personality, it is hard for me to live in this uncertainty. I am the first to admit that I am always mitigating risk, plotting back up plans and preparing for the unexpected. With Covid, everything is unexpected. Personally adjusting to dealing with this has been difficult, even as I am aware that not everything in life can be planned or mitigated.

So I would like to thank you for your patience and understanding. Take this post as notice of me  letting you know that I am now back with my daily posts. I have a few topics in mind, but should you have any suggestions let me know in the comments.

Change isn’t just the left over money in your pocket!

Yesterday my mothers laptop auto-updated, and with that came a new layout and a different way of doing things. 

“Why do they have to keep changing it?!”

My mum proclaimed with total frustration. She wanted the screen the way that it was  before. The way that she is used to, irrespective of if there were improvements within the new style and layout.

It had me reflecting on my own personal relationship with change. Its not been the easiest journey to travel. In fact it was one of the hardest lessons in life for me to accept, that regardless of anything  I may or may not do, everything changes. I am a creature of habit and even as I strive to help change the world for the better, I must acknowledge that I take comfort in the familiar. For much of my adult life I chose to remain comfortable and not administer change where it was my choice. But you do not grow and progress by remaining in your comfort zone. I believe that there are lessons to learn in every experience, and that is not to say that they will be positive or well received.

When it comes to change, there a some distinct and specific ways in which people may react.According to Ken Blanchard there are seven common ways in which people react to change. JM Fisher’s Process of Personal Transition, details eight ways in which people react to change: 

• Anxiety – can I cope?
• Happiness – at last something is going to change!
• Fear – what impact will the change have on me?
• Threat – the problem is bigger than I thought.
• Guilt – are the past failings down to me?
• Disillusionment – this is not for me so I’m leaving.
• Acceptance – maybe things won’t be so bad.
• Excitement – I’m looking forward to the challenge.

The Change Curve (based on the model by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross) CREDIT: The IC Space 

 It is often suggested that panic is the most common reaction, driven by the fear of the unknown. And for me that was often a gut reaction. My comfort meant that anything outside of that was not welcome. We have all had to go through much change in 2020,  majority of which has been completely out of our control. The buzz phrase “new normal” is continuously volleyed about in reference to the current climate and the changes we are having to make as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. Much of these changes has been met with a lot of resistance, with people not wanting to social distance, quarantine or wear masks. I have heard people proclaim that ‘if it’s not broke don’t fix it’, something I feel cannot be used in relation to a pandemic that shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. 

I have learnt to look at change as a positive thing, you cannot win a race without moving forwards. If a caterpillar didn’t change, then it wouldn’t become a butterfly. And so, as I reflect on the unexpected changes that I have had to embrace this year I will leave you with some of my favourite change quotes.

*I WOULD ALSO URGE YOU TO HELP MAKE MAKE A POSITIVE CHANGE BY SIGNING THE PETITION BELOW:

Make black history a compulsory part of the national curriculum for all ages

“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”- John Maxwell

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs 

“If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou 

“Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.” – Hugh Prather 

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” – Andy Warhol 

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change” -Albert Einstein

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward” -Martin Luther King Jr.

Credit: Good Housekeeping

Credit: Good Housekeeping

Credit: Good Housekeeping

Credit: Good Housekeeping

Confessions of a Spin Addict!

I first tried a spinning class at university while I was a law student. It was not a wonderful life changing experience. I watched a lady, who was likely 4 times my age complete the class with nary a sweat on her brow. I on the other hand was completely put off. It had been a struggle that left me, feeling very unfit, despite playing on the netball team and other regular physical activities. 

As a young adult my GP suggested I take up exercise when I was struggling with sleep. Despite struggling with body image, it wasn’t something I had actively done much in adulthood. I took to Zumba, yoga and the gym with vigour and it helped a lot. A few years ago when I was diagnosed as obese I was once again referred back to exercise. Unfortunately the injuries I sustained from my car accident meant that not all activities and classes were available to me given my limitations.  My physiotherapist suggested that I take up Spinning as it was low impact as long as I did not do all the jumps etc. I was very apprehensive having tried before but I always try to also be open minded. 

Three years ago today, I took my first spinning class. It was just as hard as I remembered and I posted the following to my socials:

However, to know me, is to know that I don’t give up. Whether thats with a Petition (Please sign) and getting the House of Commons petition committee to reverse a decisionor in my personal life with my health. So I persevered and carried on going. As time went on it got easier and I started to log my workouts on my apple watch. 

Apple watch logging

I found my body changed drastically and quickly. It works a lot of areas all at one time, with my legs and thighs changing first. They got noticeably thicker and more toned, my mother noticed and implored me to stop spinning. I did for a little bit but must confess that I was already addicted to it and the hiatus didn’t last very long. Along with my body, my heart and lungs got healthier, I witnessed my recovery time come down and found that I wasn’t so breathless when I took a flight of stairs. Spinning is a mental and physical battle and thats perhaps what appeals to me most. It is often your mind that wants you to give up long before your body has to. 

After a few months of spinning

I got into the habit of getting up early to go spin at 6am before I had to go into work. On the days where my meetings were early and I couldn’t attend the early morning sessions, I would leave work early (i always had a working lunch at my desk) and make the evening classes. One surprising outcome of my love for Spinning has been that it has motivated others. I never expected that it would inspire or motivate people, and yet it has. From the offices I’ve worked in, to one of my other health professionals recommending it to her other clients because she witnessed how beneficial it has been for me. I sleep better and eat better when I am spinning regularly.

Usual start to the day

You are on the bike alone but the spinning community has taught me that you are not alone! I have met some amazing people during my time spinning from various walks of life. I am not the most sociable person but have enjoyed getting to know the people that take to the pedals with me each week. I am lucky that my local gym has a great and varied collection of instructors, with extensive experience and even greater playlists. Of course I have my favourite, and the WhatsApp group I am a member of is perhaps the most telling of who that is. I have enjoyed the Christmas dinners and charity bike rides and hope that I get to enjoy more of these unexpected benefits of being a member of the spinning community. 

My regular spin class

First Spinning Christmas Dinner that I attended

The Covid-19 pandemic has meant that this is the longest that I have gone without spinning since I started 3 years ago today. I miss it a lot, maybe more then I should. But I am a self aware spin addict who has enjoyed daily spinning for a while now. I take a spin class everywhere I travel to if I find one available, be that in Miami or Amsterdam. 

So this spin addict is confessing that I am still addicted and cannot wait to be back on the saddle as soon as it is safe to do so! 

I CAN’T BREATHE

There is nothing new under the sun, is an idiom I heard often growing up, and something I still agree with to a certain extent. Life is cyclical. It can be used to describe cycles within all areas of life, in nature and fashion amongst others. And in this case it also applies to the treatment of Black men at the hands of the police. 

On 17th July, 2014, Eric Garner died in New York after being put into a chokehold while being arrested by Daniel Pantaleo. He was murdered. What happened to his killers? Nothing. Eric Garner lost his life and we saw no indictments. In fact his killer remained a cop and was only fired and stripped of his pension benefits in August 2019. Five whole years after Erics death but no justice.

However, there is nothing new under the sun. So lets fast forward nearly six years. 

On 25th May 2020, George Floyd died in Minnesota after Derek Chauvin knelt on his neck, subsequently killing him whilst arresting him with three other police officers. He was murdered. His killers were caught in action on film, from multiple view points. Yet despite this, the initial decision was to simply fire all four police officers and no arrests were made.

‘I cant breathe’ were some of the final words issued by both Eric and George. Both of these instances triggered mass outrage, anger and despair amongst both the black community and throughout the world. Both of these events triggered Black Lives Matter protests.

I have seen many people ask what is different now? What has changed? We are no less outraged today than we have been in the past, witnessing the murders of our people at the hands of the police. We are no less angry, nor is the despair we feel any less then before. So let me connect the dots for you.

On the 1st December 2019, the world witnessed the first outbreak of the Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) with the index case being recorded as coming from Wuhan in the Hubei province, China. COVID-19 is thought to be primarily spread from person to person during close contact ‘most often via small droplets produced by coughing, sneezing and talking’. According to WHO, some of the common symptoms include fever, cough, fatigue, shortness of breath, and loss of sense of smell. With complications such as pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome, COVID-19 was declared a pandemic on the 11th March 2020 by the World Health Organisation (WHO). 

As this virus swept across nations, crossed borders and navigated seas, suddenly the world found out that WE CAN’T BREATHE. COVID-19 didn’t care if you were White or if you were Black. It didn’t care if you were Chinese or if you were Italian, it didn’t care if you were American or if you were English. It didn’t care if you had just been born or if you were celebrating your 90th trip around the sun. We got to see that unlike humans, the virus did not discriminate. And while this was happening, we were losing black people in equally high numbers due to racism. 

But there is nothing new under the sun. The world has witnessed two black daughters publicly lose their black fathers due to racism. 

On the 4th April, 1968, Martin Luther King Jr , an African American, clergyman, civil rights leader and FATHER was assassinated. He was survived by his four children Yolanda, Martin, Dexter and Bernice. On the 25th May, 2020, when police murdered George Floyd, they too made his daughter, Gianna Floyd, FATHERless. In both instances the world was watching, and even as we see the footage with our own eyes, we are still expected to believe all the cover-ups and lies. 20 years from now when the children of all the black people killed as a direct result of racism are all grown up, society will play ignorant and pretend not to understand why issues still exist. They will cry victim, all while knowing that in standing aside, they are continuing this vicious cycle of racism and oppression. Just know we have seen you plant the seeds, and we know you have generously watered them too.

On 28th May 2020, I saw a picture going viral on the internet and across social media apps. It features Don Lemon and the headline “TWO DEADLY VIRUSES ARE KILLING AMERICANS COVID-19 AND RACISM”. So when you consider whats changed, well not much has. We have had pandemics before and we have had racism before. There is nothing new under the sun, after all. But you should also have considered that you couldn’t keep murdering and killing black people as we were being attacked on all fronts. Eric Garner couldn’t breathe, George Floyd couldn’t breathe, I CAN’T BREATHE but thanks to COVID-19 now neither can you!